...and that may have something to do with the recovery time associated with consuming (or failing to consume) 2000 kcal of beef in Burger King. In one burger. YES, I mean THE Windows 7 burger. I'm afraid to say that I was conquered by this beast. But in 'afraid' I actually mean 'ecstatic', because it means I'm not as 'Mr Creosote' as I may previously have thought (WATCH Monty Python!). For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term 'Windows 7 burger', I shall explain:
It comprises 7 full-size Burger King quarter-pounders, a tiny bit of dressing, pickles, tomato and ketchup/mayonnaise mix...and a bun - or what WOULD have been a bun, if it hadn't been more like a wet sponge filled with, yes, grease. Not only that, when you pick up the Windows 7 burger, more grease spills out from between those 7 blocks of processed cow-flesh pressed into the shape of something not remotely palatable for humans. If it were to be suggested in England, I think that health and safety would have something to say about it...something like: "It isn't in public interest to sell a heart attack in a bun, even for a limited period".
But despite the health risks that should obviously be associated with unleashing a monster upon the unsuspecting public, the promotion was extended, and the receiving audience widened in Japan. It was initially a small promotion, the first 30 people would pay 8 dollars for their fix each day. But now, the general public can pay 15 dollars for the same thing, and the number of customers is unlimited! So what did I do? I gave in to a friend's requests and cajoling, and joined him in a meaty feast at Sunshine City's Burger King.
He won. He demolished his burger, so that 7 patties later, he had room for half of someone else's Whopper. I left the equivalent of one burger. Disheartened, I retreated to wash my hands of the caked on remains left from my half-hearted attempt to slay a giant.
But is METHOD to do with my loss? Probably not, but I feel like going over it anyway...
I tried to avoid covering my face and arms with grease by splitting the burger in half, top half and bottom. I immediately discovered, to my dismay, that hot grease is quite painful, especially when it dribbles all over your hands. After quickly dropping my burger, my thumbs looked back up at me in reddening pain, telling me not to do it again. So I did it again. I wasn't going to let my thumbs tell me what to do!! This time I devoured the top half with hearty hunger in a relatively quick pace. But consuming the onion rings proved my downfall, as I failed to clear the second half of my titanic quest. Dejected, I could only look on as two other people around me finished their own burgers, chagrin plain on my face, and disdain on theirs.
Windows 7 = 1
Chris = 0
And I'm using a Mac! (albeit with three OS, including W7) Ultimate defeat!
Anyway, I have more to say (I need to catch up!), but I shall leave it here for now.
Next time: Japanese Comedy. Think that's funny? I don't.
Until next time!
2009年11月16日月曜日
2009年11月6日金曜日
Joy!
There is a certain pleasure to be had in starting a blog entry whilst not having the slightest idea what to write. So I shall begin:
Today, despite having no lectures, I ventured in to University with homework and laptop in tow, in an attempt to pretend to do work whilst socialising with other people. The reality of it was this: I did lots of work, and suffered from a profound lack of social interaction. How disappointing. This was remedied, however, when I dragged myself to my feet and slowly made my way over to a WIF committee meeting, which was a little bit pointless for myself at that time. It was here that we decided to go for ramen, and then to a pub in order to start enjoying life after most of it had been drained by the mindless boredom associated with committee meetings.
Ramen: A cheap substitute for actual food. Comprised of nothing more than a soupy oil (or oily soup?) and noodles, covered in cheap meat and sliced green onion. Yay... It is a shame that when the concept of ramen was invented, they forgot to invent flavour to put in it (or at least in this rendition). Copious amounts of pepper and whatever condiments I had to hand later, I had managed to create a half-decent pepper and pickled ginger noodle dish. Which I then couldn't finish. Then I didn't get the discount offer I thought I was getting, because I had paid MORE to add more meat to my dish. So I had to pay MORE on top of the extra meat. What I rip-off! But when you are only charging small fees for bad food, you have to cheat your money from the customers through other methods. I mean, you don't really get a choice when you go to pay, do you? Unless you kick up a fuss...and what Englishman would do that in a foreign country without feeling bad about it? (Actually, that was a poor question, considering our generation of Spanish holiday-makers and six-children families living solely off of benefits).
It was then that we proceeded to an English-style pub, where we met up with some more friends, already midway through their drinking festa! How great, I thought, to come to an English pub. But there was something wrong with the picture...and I couldn't quite place i...AH YES! I remember! There was cigarette smoke hanging in the air, and Major League Baseball playing on the screens. And as if that wasn't enough, there were the football kits of numerous rival teams hung up on the walls around the pub. This was no English pub! It was a fake!
But then the prices of the drinks brought me crashing back to the illusion of England. E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E.
In fact, despite the good atmosphere and the drinks (of which I could afford only one), the most fun I had was on the way back to my dormitory. The talk was...strange, but interesting, though I shan't divulge the details in my blog.
Well, I hope that this entry has had a more personal feel to it. I assure you that I shan't make the same mistake twice, and my dry commentary on everyday life shall return to normal. Or as normal as I can make it...
Today, despite having no lectures, I ventured in to University with homework and laptop in tow, in an attempt to pretend to do work whilst socialising with other people. The reality of it was this: I did lots of work, and suffered from a profound lack of social interaction. How disappointing. This was remedied, however, when I dragged myself to my feet and slowly made my way over to a WIF committee meeting, which was a little bit pointless for myself at that time. It was here that we decided to go for ramen, and then to a pub in order to start enjoying life after most of it had been drained by the mindless boredom associated with committee meetings.
Ramen: A cheap substitute for actual food. Comprised of nothing more than a soupy oil (or oily soup?) and noodles, covered in cheap meat and sliced green onion. Yay... It is a shame that when the concept of ramen was invented, they forgot to invent flavour to put in it (or at least in this rendition). Copious amounts of pepper and whatever condiments I had to hand later, I had managed to create a half-decent pepper and pickled ginger noodle dish. Which I then couldn't finish. Then I didn't get the discount offer I thought I was getting, because I had paid MORE to add more meat to my dish. So I had to pay MORE on top of the extra meat. What I rip-off! But when you are only charging small fees for bad food, you have to cheat your money from the customers through other methods. I mean, you don't really get a choice when you go to pay, do you? Unless you kick up a fuss...and what Englishman would do that in a foreign country without feeling bad about it? (Actually, that was a poor question, considering our generation of Spanish holiday-makers and six-children families living solely off of benefits).
It was then that we proceeded to an English-style pub, where we met up with some more friends, already midway through their drinking festa! How great, I thought, to come to an English pub. But there was something wrong with the picture...and I couldn't quite place i...AH YES! I remember! There was cigarette smoke hanging in the air, and Major League Baseball playing on the screens. And as if that wasn't enough, there were the football kits of numerous rival teams hung up on the walls around the pub. This was no English pub! It was a fake!
But then the prices of the drinks brought me crashing back to the illusion of England. E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E.
In fact, despite the good atmosphere and the drinks (of which I could afford only one), the most fun I had was on the way back to my dormitory. The talk was...strange, but interesting, though I shan't divulge the details in my blog.
Well, I hope that this entry has had a more personal feel to it. I assure you that I shan't make the same mistake twice, and my dry commentary on everyday life shall return to normal. Or as normal as I can make it...
2009年11月3日火曜日
Tokyo, in all its glory!
We all know that there are some great cities around the world, with some amazing sights. But with those sights come some just as amazing smells. In the UK, Londoners are proud of their advanced, Victorian sewer system which keeps most smells at bay. That is, they SHOULD be proud, especially if they come to smell the wonderful aromas that pervade the air (and one's nostrils) whilst walking the streets of Tokyo. Somehow, it appears that the sewage system here wasn't designed for 12 million people. Or even 50, for that matter. I constantly confront people with the idea that the city of Tokyo smells like...well, faeces, and the answer I always get is: 'does it?' As if it is something completely new. And the only reason I can come up with is that people either have never smelled their own excrement (which I quickly dismiss), or that people are so used to the streets smelling like the inside of a public toilet, that it is completely ignored.
So, people of the world, I put to you that Tokyo is a smelly city. As are many others. But this is about Tokyo.
Other than this, lectures were cancelled for today. Which is great!... or it would have been if I didn't like my Tuesday lectures... In addition, I still have no idea what it is in aid of, but it doesn't matter. Perhaps it is to mourn the loss of the baseball game between Keio and Waseda. It was a crying shame and a public humiliation! More humiliating than having the Handkerchief Prince on your team. 11-2. Then 6-0. Terrible. The Keio players even took pity on Waseda (between the sneers of derision on their faces).
It is a cold, cold day today. People are finally feeling the onset of winter...in the middle of autumn. Makes me feel happy, then, that I only feel half as cold as I do back in the UK. With the weather remaining cloudless, it is only set to get colder - but it seems to be good weather for drying clothes, so dig into that mountain of dirty clothing you haven't been bothered to wash and get it done while you still can!!!
In other news: Waseda Festival is approaching. It is said to be the biggest university festival in Tokyo (though I imagine most other universities claim this too), so get on over and enjoy the fun, as hundreds of thousands of people squeeze into a small Tokyo community to enjoy looking at the attractive (and some not so...) university students (and their stalls, of course). People of all ages will enjoy the delights on offer, though I can only attest to one of them. WIF (Waseda International Festival) will be putting on their annual international dance performance, showcasing cultures from all over the world. They'll also be doing Soran Bushi (and losing...because EVERYONE knows that westerners can't dance a Japanese dance!), and it is GREAT fun to watch.
It is for this Festival that I managed to get my three seconds of fame! I will appear on screen for a frighteningly short period of time, telling everyone about 'International People'.
--'So what is an international person?'
--'AN INTERNATIONAL PERSON IS ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS LOTS OF CULTURES'
So basically, I had a chance to say anything cool, and I blew it by spouting some crap about culture. WOO! Go me! In hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have used my real name. Oh well.
Well, I think the boat has sailed on this blog entry. I only hope that you don't look down on me for my cynicism and frankness; you know I'm only joking. No, really.
Until next time.
So, people of the world, I put to you that Tokyo is a smelly city. As are many others. But this is about Tokyo.
Other than this, lectures were cancelled for today. Which is great!... or it would have been if I didn't like my Tuesday lectures... In addition, I still have no idea what it is in aid of, but it doesn't matter. Perhaps it is to mourn the loss of the baseball game between Keio and Waseda. It was a crying shame and a public humiliation! More humiliating than having the Handkerchief Prince on your team. 11-2. Then 6-0. Terrible. The Keio players even took pity on Waseda (between the sneers of derision on their faces).
It is a cold, cold day today. People are finally feeling the onset of winter...in the middle of autumn. Makes me feel happy, then, that I only feel half as cold as I do back in the UK. With the weather remaining cloudless, it is only set to get colder - but it seems to be good weather for drying clothes, so dig into that mountain of dirty clothing you haven't been bothered to wash and get it done while you still can!!!
In other news: Waseda Festival is approaching. It is said to be the biggest university festival in Tokyo (though I imagine most other universities claim this too), so get on over and enjoy the fun, as hundreds of thousands of people squeeze into a small Tokyo community to enjoy looking at the attractive (and some not so...) university students (and their stalls, of course). People of all ages will enjoy the delights on offer, though I can only attest to one of them. WIF (Waseda International Festival) will be putting on their annual international dance performance, showcasing cultures from all over the world. They'll also be doing Soran Bushi (and losing...because EVERYONE knows that westerners can't dance a Japanese dance!), and it is GREAT fun to watch.
It is for this Festival that I managed to get my three seconds of fame! I will appear on screen for a frighteningly short period of time, telling everyone about 'International People'.
--'So what is an international person?'
--'AN INTERNATIONAL PERSON IS ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS LOTS OF CULTURES'
So basically, I had a chance to say anything cool, and I blew it by spouting some crap about culture. WOO! Go me! In hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have used my real name. Oh well.
Well, I think the boat has sailed on this blog entry. I only hope that you don't look down on me for my cynicism and frankness; you know I'm only joking. No, really.
Until next time.
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